Beginning Again

What do you do when you’re a writer who has no stories? Because that is what I am at this moment in time. I did something unprecedented, and many would consider me crazy for doing it. Crazier than most writers already are, that is.

I deleted, destroyed, and threw away years of stories. Years of work and ideas. Mind you, this wasn’t simply because I wanted too. It was because I had too.
What would drive a writer to do such a thing?

Two and a half years of writers block is what.

I tried everything to break that block. I spent days staring at words I had written, editing, revising, trying to write new things. Each an every time I failed. The story faltered, the characters lost depth, I lost interest. And a when a writer loses interest in the story she’s writing it’s… well, it’s not good. Let’s just leave it at that.

One night, while writing in my journal (the only writing left to me), I had an epiphany. Why not get rid of everything I’ve worked on up to this point? Why not rid myself of everything I never finished, or finished an lost parts of, or never even really started? Why not start over with a blank slate?

So that’s exactly what I did, and it felt wonderful. It still does. But now it also feels terrifying. Here I am, sitting down to write, and there is nothing but a blank slate. I am starting back at the beginning, with no idea where this new adventure will go, and no idea what kind of adventure I will even be writing.

Since I first started writing, my genre of choice has been fantasy/sci-fi, though I did attempt a couple supernatural stories, and even an erotica (it was horrible). Before I threw away all my story ideas I was actually working on a steampunk/fantasy, and of all the stories I had, even the one I had finished a first draft of, it’s the only one that’s still stuck in my mind.

Fantasy I know, steampunk not so much. However I recently delved into a steampunk series and found myself all the more drawn into that kind of story. So perhaps this is where I will begin.

A blank slate, a vague idea, my laptop, a notebook, and a deep well of determination.

~Kyoma Rose


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